Life works on principles and values, the ones you celebrate and permit will increase in quality. The beliefs and values you do not develop will fade away. Good values and principles lead to a healthy relationship, be it Spiritual, secular, romantic or even every day human interaction at work, business or with family.
Nothing good comes easy; every good thing requires hard work and sacrifices. The proof of love can as well be measured by how much sacrifice is made. Just like personal health requires a healthy values, principles or lifestyle, so also is every relationship or friendship.
Before going into details of building a relationship or friendship, it is essential to understand that life can be intentional, and it takes two to agree if they will work together or make things work. A friend is someone you lose your guard around, someone you are open to. On the other hand, every relationship in your life serves a purpose and requires sacrifice if you will benefit from it.
However, before you allow or permit any form of relationship or friendship, you have to count your cost and define the extent to which you want to take it. It’s good to have a healthy relationship with people around you, but you cannot give your commitment to everyone. You can love all, but build something special with only a few.
To build a healthy relationship or friendship, you need to determine how far you are willing to go. People don’t become your friend just the day you met, so you have enough time to think how far and how long you are willing to commit to people. A man’s nature will always be revealed in a matter of time, so before you commit, count your cost, if truly it’s worth it.
Going further from there, once you have made up your mind, the next task is to define what your relationship with the person is going to be. Sometimes, we need to be intentional and ask relevant questions, it helps two people to be on the same page and that guides the level of commitment. There are people that are interested in you for academic, spiritual, romantic or mentorship purposes.
It is always good to know what the other friend’s expectations are so that both of you can grow healthy relationship or friendship. Conflicts begin when expectations are not met, but truth often times is that we do not voice our expectations and just assume, this has led to the feeling of giving or sacrificing too much while the other person invests little. Do not assume, ask questions.
Once the basis and foundation of friendship/relationship as God to man, male to male, female to female or male to female is established, then the level of commitment will find its way into the relationship and then you can go further to develop the right values in the friendship. The values will vary depending on the basis of relating to each other.
Some of the quality values that grow healthy relationships include building trust, Openness, frankness, spending quality time, loving, sacrificing, Longsuffering and Truthfulness to mention but a few. Life will always bring its twist and turns, the worthy friend is one made for the adversary and the fun life brings. You must be willing to give and receive if you want a healthy relationship or friendship.
More importantly, develop a habit of praying together with your friend, life is deeply spiritual and when you understand that, you will fully see the need to pray. Friends have made people better and friends have destroyed people. Commit your friends to God’s hands, have a habit of praying with them, try it and you will see how amazing the feeling and result is. Let it not be all about books, movies, gist, computer games, football, shopping, and dates alone.
Having a healthy relationship or friendship will cost you, only be sure and count your cost before giving your commitment. Water the seed of your friendship and watch it grow to a big tree providing fruits and shade for others around you. A healthy relationship or friendship always attracts others but one filled with strife, envy or jealousy is like smoke to the eyes. So keep calm and build.
IYIOLA A.O (M.D)
dnewgeneration 